When it was time for my oldest to go to bed she stated, "I want Daddy." I reminded her that daddy went to bed early because he was sick and needed to rest so he could get better. (Reasoning normally works with her). Not tonight! The statement, became a demand, which eventually turned into hysteria.
I asked her if she wanted mommy to cuddle with her, "No, I just want Daddy!" I told her that Daddy was sleeping and mommy could cuddle her. "No, I just want Daddy!" I said (more calmly then I felt) that Daddy can't tonight and walked out.
I went to feed the 6 month old in the next room and put her down. Through the entire feeding I heard great sobbing and more "I want my daddy." It was the longest feeding ever!
I wanted to fix it. I wanted to go in and wake my husband up and tell him to go kiss her good night and squeeze her. That's all she wanted. It would have been quick, easy and done. BUT, I would have taught my daughter if she screams long and loud enough--she can get what she wants.
But more than that, I would have missed out on teaching my daughter about handling herself when it doesn't go her way. Not getting Daddy tonight is minor, really. But if I don't help her now with the minor things, she'll grow up not knowing how to handle the major things.
After I put the littlest one down, I went back in and said, "Can mommy snuggle with you?" She said, "I want Daddy." Because she didn't say no, I climbed in her bed and put my arm around her and waited. After a few minutes she relaxed, a few more minutes passed and she grabbed my arm. She calmed down and we just snuggled. I gave her a kiss, told her I loved her and then it was my turn to shed some tears.
She asked if I wanted to sleep with one of her stuffed animals and she lifted Bonsai towards me. What a gift! Every night she carefully goes over her inventory and if one animals is missing, a search ensues. All stuffed animals must be accounted for before she goes to sleep and here she was offering me one of her precious possessions.
As I closed her door I prayed that God would always give me the wisdom needed to raise this spunky, determined, remarkable girl. I know tonight won't be the last time she pushes me away, but really wants me to stay. May I know when to give her space and when to close the distance.
May God give you wisdom in raising your daughter. He gave her to you! He chose you to love her, teach her and mold her. It wasn't an accident. He wants her to learn from you. Tonight I did it right (I have Bonsai to prove it), but many times I don't. I lose my temper, lack self-control, respond disrespectfully--just to name a few. Sometimes you will do it right and sometimes you won't. When you do celebrate and when you don't, ask for forgiveness (no matter your daughter's age). And know that you aren't going to do it right every time (NO ONE DOES!) and find comfort in this closing thought...Jesus' mother didn't know where he was for three days! (Luke 2:41-46).
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