What are you doing this summer?

Summer--the best time of the year, for kids! Sometimes a dreaded time for working moms. Even though their schedule changes, yours doesn't. You are still required to be at work, your alarm clock is still set way earlier than you would like it to, and now your kids want to do stuff.

I get it. I want to do fun things with my kids, I want to make memories, but sometimes I forget and I'm just tired. A plan helps me stay focused and motivated.

To help yourself and your kiddos have a good summer, consider making an unconventional list. Not on the pad of paper that is attached to the front of your refridgerator, but maybe one like this...

Make a bucket list! Go to the dollar store and buy a bucket and some clothespins. On each clothespin write an activity you want to do together (have your child add some suggestions).  They can be places to go together (the zoo, waterpark, grandma's house) or things to do. (i.e. build a sand castle, play in the sprinkler, make playdoh, play in the rain) Put the clothespins around the top of the bucket, as you complete the activity put the clothespin in the bucket.

Have a goal to do one clothespin activity on the weekend and one night a week. This gives your children something to look forward to and help make their summer fun. It also helps you--you don't have to think of things at the last minute when you kids want to do something.

You can also simplify this activity by writing a list on large construction paper and check it off as you do each activity. (If your kids can write, have them help!) And remember color makes things look fun. :)

Either way, its a visual reminder to the kids of what's yet to come and as a parent it will hold you accountable to "do stuff" and not fall into a summer routine of sitting at home or telling the kids to go play outside.

If you have older children you could take a few pictures at each place/event and make a scrapbook towards the end of summer. If you want to do this, be sure to add it to your list.

If you aren't sure what to put on your list, or need a few fillers, check Pinterest (here's a link to summer activities).

I'm leery to have a link to Pinterest--that sight can make any mother feel like a complete failure! PLEASE, do not compare what you can do to what's on other people's summer list and don't think your list isn't pretty enough. THE POINT of all of this is to have fun with your kids this summer--Make memories, laugh together, enjoy the season! You only get 12...

Big Problem. Small Problem.

Last night I was snuggling with my 4-year old daughter. She said she was hungry, in her most dramatic voice. I matched her intensity and said, "That sounds like a big problem." She said, "No, a snack isn't a big problem, that's a small problem. If a giant steps on you--that's a big problem."

She's right. A giant stepping on you would be a really big problem!

A few months ago I started to teach her the difference between a small problem and a big problem, after she had a total meltdown (screaming, weeping, throwing herself down on the ground) because she couldn't find the socks she wanted. We talked about when we have small problems we can be sad, angry, frustrated, or even all three, but small problems don't require drama. I want my daughter to feel and express her motions, but I want her to learn to do it in a healthy, appropriate way. So over the last few months, when the opportunity arises--when a meltdown is moments away--I ask her, "Is this a small problem or big problem?" She often looks at me with tears welling up, sucks in a bunch of air and says, "It's a small problem." I tell her it's okay to be sad or angry, but she's right, it is a small problem.

<pause>

 

Do I express my emotions in a healthy way? Do I analyze problems the same way I'm teaching my daughter to? I am a firm believer that if I'm teaching it, I should be modeling it. So this noble goal of teaching my daughter small problems vs. big problems has made me realize that I overreact and throw fits for way too many small problems. Most adults, including myself, have learned to package their meltdowns a little nicer, but if we were to really be honest with ourselves, we are throwing fits over small problems.

As you go through this week, analyze your reactions to problems. Are they appropriate? Are you in control? Now if you have a pit in your stomach and this is striking a chord with you--you aren't alone.

On more than one occasion, I have had to take an extra deep breath, or say, "God, please help me. I know this is a really small problem, but I feel like it's a really big problem."And you know what, I have started to change. Little by little, problem by problem. Believe me if a short-tempered gal from Chicago who grew up with an angry, sometimes explosive parent, can change--you can too! Start today.